[Haru almost wants to laugh, full of bitterness and guilt, when he thinks about those times when Rin hung on his shoulder, always bothered him, transferred over to his school just to be on a team with him. If Haru could go back and change things... well, at least, he'd be nicer to him.
But why does Haru have to feel like there's some great distance between them now? Just because Rin isn't obnoxiously close to him now doesn't mean their relationship wasn't important to them both (Haru hoped)-- besides, even back then, Rin still didn't have any problems with leaving.]
Why not?
[Haru raised his own voice in turn. All of his nostalgia is pointless and Haru hated how he's worked himself up, just for the inevitable result of feeling worse off by the end. He can't look at Rin right now, he can look anywhere but at him. That cool, impassive facade is long gone, face twisted up in frustration at the both of them. His throat feels tight, his stomach is turning, and his eyes sting--]
Just call me some... some kind of weird idiot and leave. It's nothing that you'd care about!
[It would make this whole situation a lot less painful. Not that it wouldn't still give him a great deal of hurt. Haru was afraid that Rin would do just that-- brush him off. But now he feels that would be getting off lightly now. He doesn't want to damage their friendship anymore after what they've been through, but all of the words that are spilling out, all of the words threatening to spill out only make things worse.]
(haru has... a bit of a problem with communication)
But why does Haru have to feel like there's some great distance between them now? Just because Rin isn't obnoxiously close to him now doesn't mean their relationship wasn't important to them both (Haru hoped)-- besides, even back then, Rin still didn't have any problems with leaving.]
Why not?
[Haru raised his own voice in turn. All of his nostalgia is pointless and Haru hated how he's worked himself up, just for the inevitable result of feeling worse off by the end. He can't look at Rin right now, he can look anywhere but at him. That cool, impassive facade is long gone, face twisted up in frustration at the both of them. His throat feels tight, his stomach is turning, and his eyes sting--]
Just call me some... some kind of weird idiot and leave. It's nothing that you'd care about!
[It would make this whole situation a lot less painful. Not that it wouldn't still give him a great deal of hurt. Haru was afraid that Rin would do just that-- brush him off. But now he feels that would be getting off lightly now. He doesn't want to damage their friendship anymore after what they've been through, but all of the words that are spilling out, all of the words threatening to spill out only make things worse.]