[With how close they both are right now, it's impossible for Haru to not notice. Especially when he's analyzing every little motion Rin makes, every shift in expression. Body language can tell Haru when to press forward or pull back-- others might not see how much Haru picks up in these things, what he notices when he's quiet. Though that can only do so much good when he doesn't know what to say.
He wants to close the door to make it more comfortable for Rin, if also something that would give him a second or two of distraction. But he doesn't want to look like he's boxing Rin in again, seeing how well that worked out. So he partially closes the door, leaving it open but not letting the cold evening ocean air blow on Rin.]
I just told you, I--
[But he doesn't continue that sentence, knowing enough by now that it would do no good for either of them to say. Rin won't understand until Haru can say this plainly, to be upfront about his feelings. Something he's only saved for the time he most needs to. Would this be a time like that? Is it really necessary that Rin knows about Haru's real feelings? What keeps Haru from cutting his losses and agreeing to see Rin every now and then like he always has?
Well, other than this situation feeling hopeless as it is, and Haru has nothing to lose since either way, Rin will just think he's crazy. Haru has lost all of his ability to look cool, shaking with the effort that every word takes. What he wants to say is not coming out of his mouth... it's easy for Rin to "spit it out" when he wants to say something, something that Haru could envy.]
It sounds scary (imagine if Rin ended up kabe don-ing Haru at this point)
He wants to close the door to make it more comfortable for Rin, if also something that would give him a second or two of distraction. But he doesn't want to look like he's boxing Rin in again, seeing how well that worked out. So he partially closes the door, leaving it open but not letting the cold evening ocean air blow on Rin.]
I just told you, I--
[But he doesn't continue that sentence, knowing enough by now that it would do no good for either of them to say. Rin won't understand until Haru can say this plainly, to be upfront about his feelings. Something he's only saved for the time he most needs to. Would this be a time like that? Is it really necessary that Rin knows about Haru's real feelings? What keeps Haru from cutting his losses and agreeing to see Rin every now and then like he always has?
Well, other than this situation feeling hopeless as it is, and Haru has nothing to lose since either way, Rin will just think he's crazy. Haru has lost all of his ability to look cool, shaking with the effort that every word takes. What he wants to say is not coming out of his mouth... it's easy for Rin to "spit it out" when he wants to say something, something that Haru could envy.]
I l--
... like you--
--being around.